Welcome to the first post of my blog, Bipolar Beans. This
blog is an attempt to address the issues that a 20 something bipolar girl experiences
on a normal basis. I’ve debated whether or not I should write this blog for a
while. I have half started it more times than I can remember. This time people
are expecting a post “forcing” me to finish this post and actually start the
blog. I’m excited to do so but also nervous and even a bit frightened. Bipolar
disorder is scary to talk about. The more I talk about it the more I realize
the truth of that statement. There are simply too many stigmas for me to talk
freely without expecting any repercussions. I’ve found, however, that the good
that comes from talking about it outweighs the bad, so I will continue to talk
about my disorder and this blog is just another way for me to do so.
Before I do anything else I need to make sure you know what
bipolar disorder really is. Keep in mind this is the skeleton version. I’ll go
more in depth about different pieces of it as time goes on.
Bipolar disorder is a mental illness where moods just aren’t
stable. The name bipolar means two poles. We go between extreme highs and
extreme lows. The extreme lows are depression. The extreme highs are mania, or
hypomania (that depends on the type of bipolar disorder). Bipolar depression
looks almost exactly like chronic or clinical depression. We feel sad for no
reason. Or we feel bleh, like nothing matters anymore. There’s no cause, no
good reason to feel that way. We’re just depressed.
On the other extreme is mania and hypomania. This is beyond
happiness and ecstasy. It’s like having the energizer bunny running full time
inside you. Your thoughts won’t quit. You have almost no need to sleep.
Everything seems more intense, more real, more beautiful. In extreme cases the
mania gets really bad and people start experiencing psychosis to varying
degrees. My version is hypomania (below mania) and I can do almost anything. I’m
on top of the world! It’s the best day of my life every day when I’m hypomanic.
In order to be bipolar a person has to experience rotating
episodes of the depression and of the hypomania or mania. Everyone’s episode
cycles are just a little bit different which is important to note before you
read the blog. This blog is MY journey with bipolar disorder. You may know
someone with bipolar disorder. You may even be someone with bipolar disorder. My
journey and your journey may look similar, but don’t expect them to overlap
100% because they won’t.
Thank you for reading my first post. I hope you learned
something or your interest was piqued. I’ll write again soon.
Beans
